Questions
by touche1
Summary: Companion piece to my story "Birthday Night". Can be read by itself as well, but it might make more sense if you read that one first. This one is a pure Deeks and Kensi fic. The events in this story take place the day after the episode 4x11 Drive.


There was a knock on the door at precisely seven the next morning. Deeks opened the door to see Kensi standing there holding two cups and a box of doughnuts.

"Really?" Deeks maintained a very serious expression on his face. "Coffee and doughnuts? That's the apology I get for my partner forgetting my birthday?"

"I'm really, really sorry Deeks!" Kensi's eyes conveyed her regret as much as her words did. "It was totally unforgivable of me to mix up your birth date. But I got you your favourite tofu smoothie. As a peace offering. And before you ask, this is not your gift. Your gift is on its way and you will get it soon. I _was_ planning something nice for you, you know."

Deeks was looking straight into Kensi's eyes, and he could see that she was genuinely sorry. He wasn't really as upset as he was pretending to be, but there was no way he would let her see that. He was definitely planning on making her squirm for a while longer and milking the situation for all it was worth.

He grabbed the cup from Kensi's hand and walked past her, "Just because I'm taking this smoothie from you, doesn't mean I've forgiven you." He took a sip; it was made exactly to his specifications, just as he knew it would be. He smiled to himself, making sure that Kensi didn't see him. "And I'm choosing the radio station today."

"Sure, no problem." Kensi followed him as he walked towards her car. She had actually been expecting him to be more petulant and giving up radio rights for the day seemed like a small price to pay to get her partner back. He was already sitting in the passenger seat, sunglasses on, sipping his concoction as she got in from the driver's side. She was reminded of the day he had first been appointed as their LAPD liaison and she had found him lying on the hood of her car after the case was solved. She had actually been a bit relieved at that moment when he had told her he was going back to finish some undercover work for the police department. But he had promised to come back and now, almost three years later it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to see him sitting in her car, waiting for her to drive them to the mission.

They spent a couple of minutes in silence, Deeks determined not to start the conversation like he did everyday. Kensi awkwardly tried to adjust to the role of being the one to initiate their banter. "So, what did you do yesterday after work? Hit the club, pick someone up?" She knew that her voice was strained and she mentally crossed her fingers hoping that he had not hooked up with some random girl on his birthday.

_Just admit you're jealous!_ said devil Kensi in her left ear.

_Hey, I'm only looking out for my partner's best interests_. Angel Kensi went in her right ear.

_Whatever!_ Left ear again.

"Close. Got drunk at a bar. But I had some friends to keep me company."

"That's nice! I wish I could have come. But I had promised to have dinner with someone, and I couldn't really cancel at the last minute. Although now I think that would probably have been for the best."

"Oh yeah, your awkward dinner with Jaime. How did it go?" Deeks was actually quite curious about this.

"Wait, how did you know it was..." Kensi began, but then thought better of it. "Never mind. He brought his mom along! And told her I was his girlfriend. She was talking about grandchildren before we ordered the first course. By the time I could get out of there, she had planned the entire wedding, decorated our new room, which, by the way, will be the basement of their current house, and put me on a high carb diet so that I would have the hips to bear at least six of his kids. Plus, she didn't let me have any alcohol because that would interfere with my fertility!"

Deeks was quite unable to maintain a straight face as he listened to the indignant tone of Kensi's voice and pictured her in the restaurant trying desperately to think of ways to get out. Kensi continued her rant. "You know, under normal circumstances I would have just sent you an SOS and had you call me with an excuse to get out of there. But I figured you wouldn't take too kindly to that after I had forgotten your birthday. The dinner was probably fate's way of punishing me."

Deeks sighed. "Ok, first of all, let's get one thing straight. No matter how pissed off I am at you, no matter where we are, or what time of the day or night it is, if you ever feel like you need me to help you out with anything, you can call me. Always! Do you understand that?"

Kensi was silent for a few seconds, deeply touched. She knew that she could rely on her partner in any situation and he would always be there for her - it had been the cornerstone of her existence for the past two years. But the sincerity of his tone as he said the words sent a chill down her spine.

"I know that Deeks. I really do. And I hope that the same goes for you too. Any time you need me, I'll be there."

Like you were there for me yesterday? Deeks was tempted to say, but he held his tongue. Instead he decided that the time had come to put her out of her misery. He took off his sunglasses and his voice went back to its usual light tone. "So, you seriously thought that you would tell me about your awkward dinner and I would let you off the hook?"

Kensi smiled at him, recognizing the shift in the atmosphere. "Ok, so tell me. What will it take for you to forgive me? You want control of the radio for a few days?"

"Ha! That so does not make up for forgetting my birthday."

"I'll buy doughnuts on all our stakeouts from now on."

"Given that you finish most of them yourself, that's not really a tempting offer."

"Okay, how about I do your laundry for a month?"

"Really? If you want more of my shirts with my wonderful manly scent on them you can just ask." Deeks gave Kensi a trademark grin

"Shut up Deeks! Just tell me then. What do you want?"

"Will you give me anything I ask for?" Deeks struggled to keep innuendo out of his question

_Yes, yes, yes!_ said the devil in her left ear.

_Shut up!_ was the only weak response in her right ear

"Within reasonable limits, yes." Kensi went a little red as she said this

Deeks took a minute to answer. "All right then. I want the truth."

Kensi gave him a confused look. "The truth? About what?"

"About whatever I want. I'll ask you some questions and you have to give me answers. Complete, truthful answers. No deflections, no half truths, no excuses."

It was Kensi's turn to be silent as she thought about this. "You know me, Deeks. I'm not very comfortable with stuff like this."

"I know Kens." Deeks said seriously. "How about this - I'll only ask questions that I would answer if you asked them back to me. I know what things you're not comfortable talking about, and I promise I won't go there. No personal history."

"Will you answer them as well?"

"No! I'm not the one who forgot my birthday."

Kensi thought about the proposition for a while before giving Deeks a small smile. "Ok partner. If that's what it takes."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were on their way to question a suspect in the middle of the morning when Deeks decided it was time to get things going.

"So what did you think about me when you first met me?"

Kensi smiled when she heard the question. She had often wondered the same thing about herself and it was a topic neither of them had ever brought up before.

"Well, I actually met you for the first time twice. Once as Jason Wyler and once as Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD"

"Both times then."

"Hmm. Well, as Jason Wyler, I just sensed there was something different about you. You were not like the rest of those guys at the gym, you seemed to have a depth in your eyes; like you were sizing me up all the time. Which, of course, you were because to you I was a suspect. I just couldn't get you out of my mind for some reason."

"So that's why you remembered what I was wearing?" Deeks grinned

"What can I say, I have a good memory." Kensi refused to stoke his ego any further.

"Fair enough. And what about Detective Marty Deeks?"

"Obnoxious, over the top, full of himself. That was the first impression." Kensi was smiling

"Ouch!" Deeks placed a hand over his heart, a hurt expression on his face.

"Well, you asked me to be truthful." Kensi couldn't help laughing at his histrionics. "Although I did admire you for going into the operation like that without backup and I thought you were quite smooth with your lies as Tim at the club when we were after that socialite. I could tell event then that you were a good detective, although you were a lousy liaison."

"Just admit that you enjoyed it when I called you Fern." Deeks was grinning again

"Shut up Deeks!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were having a quick lunch of sandwiches and coffee at the boat house, waiting for instructions from Ops about where to go next when Deeks popped the next one.

"So when did you actually start to trust me?"

Kensi considered this for a moment as she munched on her ham and cheese. "To tell you the truth, I don't really know Deeks. I can't pinpoint an exact day. All I know is that one day I was fighting with you for not trusting me enough to let me hold your gun and a few weeks later, I was standing in a room full of lasers, and all I could see was your face as you looked at me being driven away by the Russians. I had no idea what was going to happen, whether I would be able to stand up long enough to survive, what was going on with the book, who exactly they were working for. But the one, unwavering truth that I absolutely believed in from the depth of my soul was that you were out there, and you would turn the town upside down to find me. Not for a single moment did I have any doubt that you would walk through that door and whatever was to happen after that, we would deal with it together.

And of course, after that I just started trusting you more and more. Till it got to the point that when my whole life was screwed up and I had no idea who was on my side and who was out to get me, I didn't even have to think to know that you were the only one I could trust with not only my life, but with my mom's life."

Deeks sipped his coffee and said in a clearly fake nonchalant voice "Nothing that you wouldn't have done for me. That's what partners are for, isn't it?"

Kensi nodded and smiled. "Yes, they are. And just in case I've never told you before, I'm glad that I have you as my partner."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Parked in front of a suburban villa, waiting for a potential eye-witness to come back home, Deeks asked

"Would you actually have gone with me to Lake Tahoe?"

Kensi gave a short laugh. "That's a good question Deeks. The short answer to that would be probably yes."

"Really?" Deeks was actually a little surprised by this.

"Really Deeks." Kensi continued. "It was nice of you to ask, and especially very sweet when you included my mom in the invitation. I know that my mom really likes you too, you've made quite an impression on her. God knows why!"

"Come on, do you really have to wonder? Look at me, I'm awesome! And moms especially love me. I'm the perfect balance between the dutiful kid who they can't wait to take care of and hope their daughter marries one day and the cheeky, ruggedly handsome charmer who makes them feel like they are 20 years younger."

"Eww! Deeks, that is wrong on so many levels!" Kensi scrunched up her face in disgust.

"I'm just saying it like it is. But seriously, Lake Tahoe would have been great if we hadn't been stuck on that ship."

"It would have." Kensi admitted. "Sounded really really nice. Plus, it would have been fun to kick your ass at snowboarding. You might also have had a chance to find out first hand whether I suck or not." She looked slyly towards Deeks who was opening and closing his mouth like a fish, his eyes round as saucers.

Luckily he was saved from having to respond by a Mercedes pulling into the driveway of the house.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The case was solved, the suspects was in custody and Kensi and Deeks were on their way back to the mission to report to Hetty. The silence in the air hung heavy and Kensi sensed that Deeks was about to ask his next question. And sure enough...

"So you told me what you thought of me when you first met me. What do you think of me now?"

"Seriously? You don't know what I think of you?"

"I have a general idea. But I'd really like to hear it from you."

Kensi sighed in resignation. This was not going to be easy. "Okay, here goes. As a professional, I think you are an exceptional undercover agent. I admire the way you go "method" for each and every character and it amazes me that you can slip in and out of deep covers so easily. I also think you're getting better and better at being a field agent - I really think that you are almost as good as any of us at most aspects of the job now."

"I would like to think that I'm better than you guys at many aspects as well." Deeks couldn't help chiming in.

"Well, a couple maybe." Kensi conceded. "If it involves walking dogs and being bombarded with tennis balls by kids."

"Touche!" Deeks grinned at her

"Seriously though, you are great at empathizing with others. People naturally trust you and you come across as a genuinely good guy. I think that comes from your easy-going likeable personality. But behind that I think that you can be single minded in your purpose and you will go out of your way to help others. I think all those things combined make you so good at your job."

"Hey, you actually managed to say something nice about me." Deeks feigned surprise, although he was secretly very pleased by her words.

"Take it all in, partner. This offer is good only for a day!" Kensi countered as she pulled into the parking lot at the mission.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They had left the mission for the day and Kensi was driving Deeks back to his house.

"What were you going to say to me when you thought I was fired from NCIS?"

It came out of the blue and this was one question that Kensi had not anticipated. She was lost in thought, thinking back to one of the worst days of her NCIS career and wondering how to answer this. "Kens?" Deeks said, thinking that perhaps Kensi had not heard him.

"I heard you Deeks. Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Yes I do. In fact, let us say that I were to be fired tomorrow. What you would you say to me?"

Kensi took a deep breath before taking the plunge. "Well, first of all I would say thank you. A sincere and heart-felt thank you for all the times that you have been there for me. By my side whenever I needed you. And a lot of times even when I didn't need you. Thank you for not giving up on me even when I wasn't the easiest partner to be with. Thank you for not letting me push you away. Thank you for saving my life more times than I can remember. For trusting me with your life and believing in me so blindly. Thank you for your unconditional support through my worst days. Thank you for making work so much fun that I looked forward to coming in every day. For cheering me up whenever I was down, for comforting me when I was upset. For knowing exactly when to get me a guilt-free low fat latte and when to get me an indulgent chocolate doughnut. For sitting through endless Top Model marathons just to make me feel better.

But most of all, thank you for being more than just my partner. For being my best friend, to whom I can tell my darkest thoughts and who always knows the right thing to say."

They had reached their destination now and the car was parked in front of Deeks' apartment. Kensi took another deep breath before continuing. "And I would say that, no matter what happens, this is not the end. Even if you are not my partner any more, you are still my best friend. And wherever we go from here, whatever we do, that is never going to change. I know that I can still depend on you and come to you any time, and I believe that you have the same confidence about me. What we have, our so called "thing" is tenacious enough to survive this and our relationship will only get stronger from here."

There was silence in the car for a couple of minutes before Kensi dared to look across at Deeks. He was staring out of the window and she could see him blinking rapidly. Kensi gently placed her hand on his arm and he turned to look at her, his eyes bright and moist.

"That was..." Deeks swallowed hard, struggling to get the words out. "That was really... " He stopped again and nodded his head. "That was beautiful Kensi."

"I meant every word Deeks. I really did." Kensi shifted her hand to cover the back of Deeks' hand. Deeks turned his hand over and gripped her palm gently. Deeks looked into Kensi's eyes, both their gazes more open and honest than ever before.

"Thank you." Deeks said and they sat there, lost in thought for a few minutes. Then Deeks sighed and started to get out of the car. "Well, you have officially atoned for forgetting my birthday partner. You are off the hook. But I am still awaiting my present."

"And you shall have it." Kensi smiled at him as he shut the door behind him. She rolled down the passenger window and continued, "Umm, Deeks, I know that this my question day and you said that you wouldn't answer any questions today. But I really hope you'll tell me one day what you would have said to me if you were actually leaving NCIS."

Deeks paused, turned back allowed a slow smile to play on his lips for a few seconds before replying. "One day I will Kensi. I promise you, one day I will."


End file.
